14lb babies – really? and my 1st birth story, part 1…

I keep seeing reports about giant babies (which I have no idea how any woman could pass through her) and wonder if they are a hoax or in fact, real.  To be honest, I know a lot of people, and the biggest baby I’ve ever heard of was 10 something, 9 seems to be more common for a bigger baby.

It’s funny because before you have a baby, you think, I’m bigger, my hips wider, I’ll definitely be able to have a vaginal birth.  I had no idea that it mostly has to do with how your pelvis is situated, how you carry the baby (while pregnant), and obviously a host of possible fluke situations that present themselves at a critical hour.

I was a bit overweight for my first, but happily gained 24 lbs.  Trust me, I didn’t look small.  Regardless, people were constantly trying to guess the baby’s weight – “you were 8, so for sure your baby will be,” or “your husband was …”  It’s such a guessing game, not even the doctors have figured out how to accurately predict.

So I’m going to share with all of you my birth story, knowing that within reason, very few will experience.  Yes, I’m trying to make you all feel better in advance (and you’ll think back to this and say, “yeah, her story kind of sucked.”

Let’s start at the very beginning (I Love the Sound of Music, and you may get way too many references, FYI)…

Prego after about 6 months of trying.  Think I hadn’t really figured out the ovulation thing until month 4.  Turns out, after actually paying attention to the signs, I ovulate about day 10.  I know what you’re thinking, impossible, that’s way too early.  Apparently not…IMG_6583

Fast forward 41 weeks and 3 days!!!  Um yeah, was soooo ready, for my daughter to make her entrance.  I was nannying and had stopped a few weeks prior to my due date, which in hindsight, I could have easily worked another 2-3 weeks.  Regardless, it was a beautiful day, that 10th day AFTER my duedate, when my mucous plug fell out.  I had been having mild cramping all day and of course called my mom like 100x.  “This HAS to be it,” I kept thinking.  After consulting WEBMD, the unofficial medical opinion was that the onset of labor had begun (thank god!).  I hate to say it, but that last month is the kicker.  Nothing fits, you’re swollen, and that cute 6 month freshly popped basketball belly is gone.  You waddle around, praying your water breaks before you have to get up in the middle of the night AGAIN to pee.

Back to my story…  I decided to hop on the treadmill (true story)and remained on there for 2 hours, in hopes that exercise would move things along.  Finally decided to call my OBGYN who promptly dismissed my concerns about birth being eminent by stating, “if you’re still laughing you’re nowhere near having this baby – call me later”  OK.  5 hours later, the regularity of the pain increases and I call my husband.  Luckily it’s rush hour, but he gets home within the hour.  The anticipation is literally killing me – “we have to go to the hospital – I NEED to know what’s going on!”

Get the bag, head to the hospital 20 minutes away.  I put on that awesome hospital gown and it hit me – there are a lot of people who are going to see me half-naked, not just my OBGYN!  I’m hooked up to a bunch of monitors.  Minutes later, God walks in, “WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL ME?”  Panic strikes and I meekly reply, “because I wanted to know what was going on.”  Shoot me for wanting to know where I was in this mysterious process of childbirth.  Clearly he was in the middle of a golf game and was quite upset I disrupted him.  It only got worse…

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